He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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