the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
