He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
