i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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