A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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