i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
