WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
