What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
