No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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