How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
