I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
