People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
