She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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