I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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