ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize