So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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