But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
