Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
