I wish I only lived at night.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
