Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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