Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
