There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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