the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You did what with his pubic hair?
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