We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize