Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
