At least make sure they are 18
Why
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
they're like a gay fantastic four
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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