Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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