guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
