who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He shit in the fireplace
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
