And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
