I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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