weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
kristin has been a bad kristin
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
only if we run a train.
done.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
