I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
