Can Purell be used as lube?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
