We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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