so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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