Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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