Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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