Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
