I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
