Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So apparently I’m into choking now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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