In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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