What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
