Buhtt sex?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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