ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
