The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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