he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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