(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Two words: blizzard sex
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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