That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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