If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
