I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
