Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize