It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
