Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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