I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
