he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
