I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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