You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
