SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
