i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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