Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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