I think i peed on brittanys purse
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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