Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
