His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
