i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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