and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Randomize
