Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
