i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
