He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
