This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she told me i tasted like america
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
