Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
