I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
