I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
