You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
