ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
