Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
