is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
