walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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