I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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