hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I stole a fireplace last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
