I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
