I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
