we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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