The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
